The other day I was in Los Angeles, and I made it a rule for myself to hold eye contact with everyone I interacted with. I kept thinking it would wear off after the first few interactions, but the discomfort kept renewing itself in weird, subtle ways.
The day itself was packed. My girlfriend and I started at the Academy Museum of Motion Pictures. It’ was a place that I really excited to go. But even there, in an environment that already encourages observation, the eye contact thing made everything feel off. In one of the exhibit rooms, I made eye contact with a museum employee standing by a glass case. Normally I’d give a polite nod and move on. Instead, I held the look. Just for a second or two longer than normal. She looked back, then dropped her gaze, then looked back again as if checking to see if I had a question. I didn’t. I just nodded and moved on. It felt like I’d broken some kind of invisible rhythm. It was really uncomfortable. In a city where everyone’s half-looking past each other, it felt like I was holding up a mirror, even though I wasn’t saying anything out of the ordinary.
The real test came that night at The Weeknd’s concert. There were people everywhere. While we were in line for merch, I made eye contact with a couple behind us, one of them immediately looked away like they weren’t sure what I wanted. Inside the so-fi stadium, was even more complicated, I had never been there before so I was getting to adjusted to that as well. I tried holding eye contact with strangers we passed but it got awkward fast. One girl looked at me with the look as if we knew each other like, and a guy just stared back blankly until I had to look away. But the strangest moment was when I turned to look at my girlfriend. We’d already been talking, but holding eye contact for just a second longer made even that feel oddly charged as if I was seeing her in the middle of chaos, fully present for a moment we’d normally drift through. There’s something about concerts though I thought was interesting for this assignment, everyone is packed together, sharing sound and space but no one really wants to look at each other. We all want to feel connected, just not seen.
By the time The Weeknd came on, I was ready to disappear into the music and let the performance go. Five hours of eye contact sounds easy, but it messed with my head. It’s like I was asking people to be present with me for just a beat longer than they wanted. And you’d be surprised how resistant people are to that especially in a place like L.A., where looking past people is just part of the pace.
After the concert, walking back to the hotel, I looked at the reflection of my own face in a store window and realized I’d been more “on” all day than I expected. Not in a performance sense, but in a hyper-aware, ultra-present way. That little decision to hold eye contact had shifted my whole experience of the day. Nothing huge happened. But everything felt a little bit off. And maybe that’s the point.
Hello! I really like how honest you were about your experience and highlighting how weird and intense it felt overall. I think one thing that could make your documentation even stronger is adding a bit more at the beginning about why you chose eye contact, was it to challenge yourself, connect more, or see how people would react? It would be an interesting inclusion and emphasize your experience.
ReplyDeleteThis piece is sharp, honest, and emotionally resonant. The subtle disruption of eye contact becomes a profound lens for exploring presence, vulnerability, and urban disconnection. Every moment feels quietly electric.
ReplyDeleteI feel like this was such a good idea to do at a concert because you see hundreds if not thousands of people in one setting and have to look them in the eyes. IN our everyday lives I feel like we kind of glance at people but not directly look them in the eyes, you captured the "uncomfortablility" very well.
ReplyDeleteEye contact is such a weird thing now, your writing captured the details really well of the way strangers respond to prolonged eye contact. Also, your realization about concerts is something I have never thought of before but rings true. Nobody wants to be watched at a concert, or perceived really. Your findings from this are super interesting.
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